Q. How would you define Verbal Judo?

A. Generating voluntary compliance, cooperation and collaboration (we call it GVC for short). Here’s what this means: Verbal Judo is a methodology for using language persuasively to resolve conflict. It’s both a world view and a precise methodology.

For public safety professionals, this means getting people to see that it’s in their best interest to do what you’re telling them to do.

For educators, for example, this means cultivating a professional atmosphere and having the specific set of verbal procedures to respond to conflict and disagreement.

For children, this means learning the language that it takes to get a bully to stop.

Verbal Judo requires a very specific set of procedures to be used, whether you’re asking a street thug to step into your squad car – or asking your teen-ager to take out the garbage.

Q. How is it used by police?

A. “Peace Officers” is what Dr. Thompson calls law enforcement professionals who use Verbal Judo’s method of tactical communications.

Verbal Judo holds practitioners to a high level of professionalism centered on de-escalating situations. In many cases, this means reasoning for people – likely under the influence of drugs, alcohol or rage – as they would for themselves after the heat of the moment has passed.

There are specific scripts and procedures (see attachments), including the 8-Step and the 5-Step. Having a specific verbal protocol that is followed makes it much easier to justify and defend an officer’s actions in court, if need be.

He maintains that these vital verbal skills that de-escalate potentially volatile situations are not taught – particularly to new officers — as adequately as the ones that involve physical skills and weaponry.

Q: How can the average man/woman use it?

A: There’s a reason why the chameleon is part of the Verbal Judo logo. Just like changes its color depending on its circumstances, Verbal Judo enables a person – regardless of age, gender or situation – to get his or her message across. Tailoring a message to best suit the situation has its roots in the philosophy of Aristotle and classical rhetoric.

Here are some techniques from Verbal Judo:

Mushin: This Asian philosophical tenet calls for staying cool, calm and collected in pressure-filled situations. Responding with emotion builds tension and volatility.

LEAPS: You need to listen to fully understand the situation. Dr. Thompson outlines the steps of Active Listening as Listen, Empathize, Ask, Paraphrase and Summarize.

Tactical Empathy: Putting yourself in the shoes of the other person helps you understand how to tailor your message for maximum impact.

Q: What are the arguments against using Verbal Judo?

A: The procedures used within Verbal Judo involve maintaining professionalism and actively listening to gain a thorough understanding of the situation. Cooperation is the ultimate goal; engaging voluntary compliance is next. Force or the use of penalties is the option of last resort. Any entity with a different set of priorities would not find success using Verbal Judo.

According to Dr. Thompson, there are reasons for people not using Verbal Judo: Some don’t want to be held accountable for the ethical standard of conduct required by the Verbal Judo philosophy.

Q: How can Verbal Judo be used in the home?

A: While many types of communications training focus on how people are different, Dr. Thompson emphasizes the similarities that we hold in common.

Among Thompson’s Five Universal Truths is this: People want to be treated with dignity and respect — even at home – where we tend to let down our guard.

Verbal Judo has saved marriages and relationships because it teaches people from using “natural language,” the impulsive words that fly out without thinking.

Pam Thompson likes to say a home should be a safe place to fall. Verbal Judo teaches parents how to model good problem-solving behavior, holding their children to a standard without becoming authoritarian. It enables parents to discipline their children in order change behavior and not create a bad attitude.

Dr. Thompson and Pam Thompson are the parents of an 8-year-old son, Tommy.

Q: How does Verbal Judo address school issues involving bullies?

A: Civility and respect are sorely lacking from the lives of many children; Verbal Judo teaches them coping skills that deflect and diffuse situations peaceably when they are the target of verbal abuse. This assertiveness is key to “bully-proofing” a child.

Verbal Judo sets up an environment where bullying is not tolerated. In order to eliminate bullying, it must be addressed by all parties: The parents and school leaders, the audience that witnesses this behavior, the bully (individuals and groups), and the bullied. Verbal Judo is the framework that enables constructive dialog to take place at every level.

Q: What’s the best way to learn Verbal Judo?

A: There are rigorous standards for someone to become a Verbal Judo trainer – members of the Milwaukee Sheriff’s Department, for example, are undergoing 40 hours of intensive training, and must be recertified every three years. Dr. Thompson has a team of national trainers and satellite offices in Canada, Australia, South Africa, Sweden, Spain and the Netherlands.

But the concepts can be readily learned and used by the general public. The key lies in practicing and applying these tactics consistently.